First Time Shame on You...
We have all heard the saying, "first time shame on you, second time shame on me." Practicably, this simply means that if you deal with people who don't behave honestly or ethically the first time, you can blame them for it. However, if you do business with them again, you have to look in a mirror to find the one who is really guilty.
It is true that people need to be a little careful when it comes to such a philosophy. You want to believe that you could have caught someone on a bad day, or they were going through a "rough spot" professionally or personally, or several other reasonable conclusions. This desire to "forgive and forget" is even stronger when there is the potential of earning income. However, it is when the opportunity for making money exists with such people that you have to be the most cautious.
Recently I decided to take on a client who needed some media marketing for his business. I met with this individual before, around 6 months ago, and during those first encounters he played little games. He contacted me with great enthusiasm about doing business and then became MIA. We finally met after a few frustrating days and he decided he wasn't ready to do the marketing. I concured, he wasn't ready. For some reason, stupid me touched base with him and sure enough he was "ready" to proceed. The guy is very smart and articulate and presents himself well. The type of consulting I was going to do for him lent well to his image and personality. There was also money involved, of course. As I sat across the table from him my stomach was stirring. My mind was telling me that this wasn't in my best interest. But the desire to assume the best prevailed and I brought him on board. What a disaster.
He had the contract for less than two months and violated it on several points. There were some deadlines he was facing and in the last several weeks my assistants and I had been trying to locate him and was finally able to reach him thanks to using a phone he wouldn't identify on caller ID. This is, of course, the epitome of unprofessionalism. In the last few days of that search when I determined his status (and that I didn't want to do business with him further) I was furious. I had to check myself because I usually don't allow myself to get so emotional in business. I kept asking myself how I had gotten so upset. I finally figured it out. I knew the first time I encountered this guy that I shouldn't do business with him, but I went ahead any way because of wanting to give it a second shot. I wasn't nearly as mad at this person as I was at myself.
It is actually quite silly, too. In the time I spent pursuing him and having others do the same I could have obtained one or two contracts with other clients. Furthermore, the laws of reciprocity (doing unto others as you would have them do unto you) always work against people who behave such as this. In fact, the last person who conducted himself in this manner with me was out of business within two months of the incident (not a threat to those who do me wrong, just a reminder of how it goes in the world of business). Furthermore, this guy does business in Houston, which is the biggest small town in America. He won't be able to get away with such for long before everyone he wants to do business with is aware of his practices. It is just the way it is.
So the next time you are willing to overlook bad behavior in others, think of how angry you might be at yourself after you are mistreated.
It is true that people need to be a little careful when it comes to such a philosophy. You want to believe that you could have caught someone on a bad day, or they were going through a "rough spot" professionally or personally, or several other reasonable conclusions. This desire to "forgive and forget" is even stronger when there is the potential of earning income. However, it is when the opportunity for making money exists with such people that you have to be the most cautious.
Recently I decided to take on a client who needed some media marketing for his business. I met with this individual before, around 6 months ago, and during those first encounters he played little games. He contacted me with great enthusiasm about doing business and then became MIA. We finally met after a few frustrating days and he decided he wasn't ready to do the marketing. I concured, he wasn't ready. For some reason, stupid me touched base with him and sure enough he was "ready" to proceed. The guy is very smart and articulate and presents himself well. The type of consulting I was going to do for him lent well to his image and personality. There was also money involved, of course. As I sat across the table from him my stomach was stirring. My mind was telling me that this wasn't in my best interest. But the desire to assume the best prevailed and I brought him on board. What a disaster.
He had the contract for less than two months and violated it on several points. There were some deadlines he was facing and in the last several weeks my assistants and I had been trying to locate him and was finally able to reach him thanks to using a phone he wouldn't identify on caller ID. This is, of course, the epitome of unprofessionalism. In the last few days of that search when I determined his status (and that I didn't want to do business with him further) I was furious. I had to check myself because I usually don't allow myself to get so emotional in business. I kept asking myself how I had gotten so upset. I finally figured it out. I knew the first time I encountered this guy that I shouldn't do business with him, but I went ahead any way because of wanting to give it a second shot. I wasn't nearly as mad at this person as I was at myself.
It is actually quite silly, too. In the time I spent pursuing him and having others do the same I could have obtained one or two contracts with other clients. Furthermore, the laws of reciprocity (doing unto others as you would have them do unto you) always work against people who behave such as this. In fact, the last person who conducted himself in this manner with me was out of business within two months of the incident (not a threat to those who do me wrong, just a reminder of how it goes in the world of business). Furthermore, this guy does business in Houston, which is the biggest small town in America. He won't be able to get away with such for long before everyone he wants to do business with is aware of his practices. It is just the way it is.
So the next time you are willing to overlook bad behavior in others, think of how angry you might be at yourself after you are mistreated.
posted by Kevin Price at 1:12 PM
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